success and failure

well, mostly success, i think… the two latest weeks i’ve lost 1.1 kg (first week) and
1.5 kg (second week)!!! the thing is i’ve been sick for two weeks, and haven’t been
able to work out. guess a lot of my loss of weight is muscles, which kind of sucks…

anyway, i’ve been taking walks almost everyday (and been smoking), despite my
sore throat and fucked up nose… my calorie intake has been around 1000 – 1200
a day, and i know that my body burns a minimum of 1400 everyday without me
moving a millimeter. since i’ve been losing weight fast this way, of-fucking-course
i want to continue with it!!!!! the question is if i can manage to do that when i start
exercising again…?

and about the failure (this post’s title) i binged yesterday… huge… and it’s been a
while since i did that last time – thank God.. but still, it’s a failure, and i feel really
bad about it  >_<  …. anyway, i force myself to step on the scale every thursday
morning, and because of my success the latest two weeks, i’m nervous like a little
child before christmas eve (but, in a negative way) about what the scale will show
this time… i’m so afraid of getting disappointed… hopefully i’ve lost at least 1 kg…
–  otherwise it truly is a failure. i’ll update THIS post with the result on thursday..
stay strong.

UPDATE:
i knew it could be bad, but seriously, the scale showed ex-fucking-actly the same
as last week. not ok… NOT OK !!!!! one binge shouldn’t ruin 6 days with negative
calorie intake. i don’t get it… next week… no mercy now.

This entry was posted in calories in/out, everyday posts, my sick thoughts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to success and failure

  1. gloria theodore says:

    Hi. i was just wondering if the black and white pics to the right side here, are you? you have a great smile,..you should soo continue modeling.. bestwishes<3

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